Poll Results: Opening for Butterfly Swords

Thanks for the participating in the poll!

The results overwhelmingly favored the heroine’s opening 62% versus the hero 38%.

Ai Li’s opening is actually the newest opening; the one I’m currently submitting. I was very torn since Ryam’s opening had some success — it’s the opening that placed in two chapter contests as well as the RWA Golden Heart contest.

Ryam’s opening is the opening I’ve had in my head from the beginning. If there was ever a movie (hee hee) it’s the opening I’d prefer. Stranger in a strange land, mysterious woman catches his eye, he gets harassed by the locals to create some sympathy. I kept on getting feedback from different people to speed up the action to which I was very opposed. I need the slow opening before the action erupts — otherwise who cares about this guy?

Ai Li’s opening caters to the trend of starting with action. It addressed issues that people had with the heroine’s goal not being clear enough at the beginning. It also places you immediately in China with the wedding dress and the sedan. The cons are that it is more confusing – the action starts immediately, there’s strange words like “palanquin”, there’s disorientation before you figure out what’s going on. I’m okay with some disorientation at the beginning, but it’s harder to care about a character when calamity strikes immediately.

Ryam’s scene does still follow the action opening so I definitely don’t lose his POV. Thanks much for all the comments! I have gathered some new ideas for what to add on in the next pass, though I’m holding myself back for now. This was fun to see.

If you’d like to see the excerpts:



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Excerpt Monday: His or hers?

I’m joining in with my fellow Romance Divas for a fun exercise.  A group of divas are posting their excerpts for general review and reading enjoyment. Some of these are works in progress and some are upcoming releases.

For my Excerpt Monday, I have a poll. I recently changed the opening of Butterfly Swords and I’m wondering which opening works better, his or hers? Please vote on your favorite. Any comments are welcome!




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Read more Monday Excerpts:

Warning! I have not screened these excerpts myself. Please bear in mind that some authors have provided a rating for their excerpts which may contain language or content that is not typical of this blog.

Cami’s First Kiss by Bria Quinlan

Excerpt Monday by Mel B (silentdreamer)

A Halloween Novella by Vivienne Westlake

Set the Night On Fire by Maureen McCarrie (Rating: NC-17 for language)

Monday Excerpt by Crista McHugh

Another Time, Another Place by T. Sue Versteeg

Monday Excerpt by Kinsey Holly

Del Fantasma by Becca Sheridan-Furrow

The Chancellor’s Bride by Kirsten Saell (Excerpt rating: PG, Site Rating: NC-17)

Scenting Cinnamon by Ella Drake (Rating: NC-17)

Asking for It by Kate Willoughby (Rating: PG-13)

21st Century Courtesan by Eden Bradley (Rating: Adult)

Excerpt Monday by Evie Byrne (Excerpt rating: PG,  Site Rating: NC-17)

A Run for the Money by Gina Ardito

The Scroll Thief by R.F. Long

Resisting Kane by Stephanie Adkins

Inheritance by Lynne Chandler

Dying Embers by B.E. Sanderson

More than Magic by Babette James

First in the Soulguard series by Amber Gilchrist