Now what?

2482580_blogSo I’m in that weird limbo where I’ve finished a project and haven’t picked up a new one yet. The first draft of my novella, Warrior Bride, is done and shipped off to be ripped to shreds by critique partners. The betas of The Dragon and the Pearl have come back and I’m getting those edits in.

I’m going to be a big girl and send both of those to my agent this weekend. I don’t know why I’m so scared. Actually, I know exactly why I’m scared. It’s like when mum used to always tell me to do better on the next report card. Then one day I brought home straight A’s and mum was happy — but I knew I wasn’t going to get to drop an A ever again.

I’m sure it’s not that dramatic. Mum/Gail will still love me if I bring home a B, right? 🙂

Well, so I have two choices right now as I wait for revisions. I can drag out the dusty first manuscript I ever wrote, Intrigue of the Dragon Court, of which very little of the old manuscript gets to remain. Including the title. Even that has to go. The thought of editing that scares the bejeebies out of me.

Second choice: I can fast draft something totally unrelated. Now here’s where my writing weird comes out to bite me. Nothing is calling out of the ether. I’m always afraid the next idea won’t come. I hear other writers lament about how they have all these ideas tugging at them and here I am, no plot bunnies anywhere. Here bunny, bunny…

Inspiration – Feeding Your Brain

san_diego_zooLately I’ve been brewing a lot of thoughts. Last night I even plotted out an entirely new novel. For some people that’s no big deal, but I rarely commit enough to an idea to outline it. It takes a long period of mulling over an idea before I decide it’s tickled my interest enough to latch onto it. Writerly friends always talk about how many ideas they get that are pulling at them and urging to be written. That so ain’t me, babe.

In San Diego, I was thinking about Little Sis’ fiance. Soon-to-be Brother in Law is a journalist and a freelance travel writer. Sunday morning, they got up early to take my brother to the airport, hit the zoo for five hours and then meet up with us for lunch. What kind of crazy person wants to squeeze in time at the San Diego zoo on Sunday after going to a huge wedding the day before? To me, it just sounded exhausting, but Brother in Law was giddy about going to the zoo and seeing lions and tigers and bears.

I thought then about all the articles he has to write on a daily basis. If I had to come up with ideas on a daily basis, I’d implode. Even these little bloggy thingies are hard to come up with sometimes. But BIL loves to go out and experience things. You might think, yeah, who doesn’t? But Little Sis and BIL, both writers, are out every chance they get finding events, places to go, people to see. Maybe all these inputs help BIL formulate this neverending cycle of ideas.

It leads me to think about what kind of experiences I’ve been stirring into the daydream soup. Ever since my honeymoon, I haven’t been writing or revising in earnest (yes, confession time). Some of it was because of the whole euphoria of finding an agent and getting embroiled in the day job. But I’ve also been going out and doing things. There was the weekend in San Diego and the entire week visiting friends and family in Los Angeles.

Even back in St. Louis, we’re getting out more. After the farmer’s market in Amsterdam, I remarked to hubby that it was the sort of Saturday I’d like to have every week. Sure enough, when we got back home, hubby started taking us to the Soulard Market on Saturdays. We’ll walk hand in hand, buying fresh fruit and vegetables. Then we go home and I’ll make the best sangria and guacamole. And that, of course, leads to another couple hours of lounging and non-writing.

All of this stuff feeds my mind, so I guess I have a happy brain right now. So maybe it’s not so bad to not be writing so much for the moment.