There’s been a lot of self-doubt threads around lately and I always shy away from them. Self-doubt is a constant for writers, I suppose. I feel it all the time. I fret and I worry. I whine with the best of them. Somehow I just have to separate it from the actual process of writing. I complain about my day job over margaritas as well, and then I go back the next morning and do it. Writing’s the same — but better. I don’t get the same self-indulgent high from my day job.
Some might say it’s so personal and that’s why the fear is so great. Oh no…don’t do that to yourself. I am a master of the mind game! This is a personal journey and you make up the rules you operate by. Why set parameters that put you in the loser’s circle? Define rules of the game that empower you, not weaken you.
What do I mean? When I was teaching, a lot of teachers fell into the trap of thinking these kids are too far gone. They’ve had years of bad schooling, weak parenting, the school system is screwed, etc. It’s what we call in teaching the “deficit model” but I expanded it beyond just looking at the students to my whole outlook. You can’t win if you start from behind like that. Why don’t you consider instead that you have one hour a day with these kids? They can’t turn the channel, they can’t go to their rooms. One hour of undivided attention is more than some of their parents get. Take that one hour and work it hard.
Maybe this book won’t ever sell, but that’s out of my hands. I’m going to walk these halls like a rockstar and the rest will come. What else can I do?